So what is a tendency?
It’s being prone to a particular kind of thought or action; essentially a way of behaving (YES WE ALL HAVE THEM).
So, let’s admit that we all have our personal idiosyncrasies and tendencies when we are by ourselves, but when it comes to releasing some of our old single patterns, that’s little harder for us to do. (Totally went through that and still working on some things)
If you are single you might think, “Well why I would need to release anything if he or she loves me just the way I am?” (I use to ask that question). I am sure most spouses love you for who you are, but that doesn’t mean every mode of operation you had in your single season should remain the same in your married season.
A mindset shift must happen within the confines of marriage that transforms your thinking into primarily thinking of yourself, to learning to think of someone else before yourself at times. It’s the process of taking the other person into consideration in your life and daily mode of operation. As a newlywed, single tendencies are still transforming and falling off of you, and the greatest comfort in all of the transformation is knowing that the process is very normal.
So let’s do some examples…..
Maybe you are used to talking on the phone for hours as a single, but when you get married your spouse wants more of your attention?
Maybe you are used to being on the go all the time, and now your family requires you to not move as much?
Maybe you are used to shopping when and wherever you wanted all the time, and now you are saving for a particular thing that the two of you have discussed?
Maybe you have a lot of friends of the opposite sex, and your spouse would like to be comfortable with those friends you have established?
Stating these examples does not mean all of your single tendencies are wrong, it just means you have to readjust or release some to fit your new love and your new life.
Philippians 2:3 ends by saying “rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”
That’s not always easy to do, but I know when you consider your spouse, that action speaks to their heart and ultimately makes God smile.
Pray and ask the Lord to keep making you into the spouse you need for your mate, and I know with that humble attitude it will happen.
Continue to Grow Strong together.