I know when we are dating we pretty much think that the person we are dating is pretty close to perfect! And we attempt to get engaged to the person we feel will provide for us the most happiness possible. Isn’t that what the world teaches you, to expect perfection in a relationship?
We try not to consider allowing anything less than everything you hoped for in your life partner to spend your forever, ever with. You want the person you marry to be a great addition and compliment to your world, however that person you married does and will have flaws. A flaw is an imperfection, or something that is not entirely what you imagined. So what do you say to yourself when this imperfection is noticed? Do you jump ship? Do you say “no way I want out”?
I believe every relationship goes through that type of thing, where you see one or two things that are a total surprise to you within the confines of marriage. The best advice I would give to you is understand and embrace the idea that your spouse is in a process as well as you are. I am not in any way stating that all flaws are ones that need to stay, but what I am saying that Is being a good wife or husband for some is a process and takes some time to execute. In Romans 8:29, it states that God is conforming us into the likeness of his son, meaning until we die we are constantly being changed.
We have to be careful of our unrealistic expectations of one another and not being willing to walk next to one another while the other is developing and growing. Growing is a word that I love to speak about because many of us go into marriage with the “I have arrived” type of mentality. This is IT! No more growing, no more developing, we have achieved the maximum level of relationship goals we could achieve. That type of thought pattern leads you into comparison and lack of hope, and possibly even defeat.
I love the thought that you were made to handle the flaws of the one person you were designed to be with forever. Easy? No! Made for it? YES! When you have one of those hard days when dealing with that complicated flaw, you need a confidential friend that can help you see the BIG picture of dealing with that flaw versus having the friend that wants you to find the escape route. It’s also very helpful to talk to the one who created your spouse (God), he can give you insight into how to handle challenging moments.
When we say, I do, we say I love you, flaws and all.
As John Legend talks about All your “perfect imperfections”. They may not feel like perfect imperfections, but you are perfectly capable of handling flaws and all. You were created to help your spouse become all they can be with you by their side.
With Love Tamara
The Newlywed Nook