Been thinking a lot about humility lately, and how it’s needed for so many areas of our lives. Not only do we need it to interact with each other in platonic relationships, but it’s needed in your marital relationship. I have noticed that arguments never get resolved when we respond by going into defense mode. It’s not until someone chooses to humble themselves does the resolution ever come. Maybe your spouse was wrong, and you were even 99% percent right; the gloating about your rightness usually doesn’t help the other person see how they were wrong. So, what does this have to do with humility? The only way to walk forward together is if both parties decide to have a humble heart. Being able to humble yourself to the other person is essential in overcoming conflict, because two people trying to win usually never works, and only brings more frustration. Many people think humility means being weak or passive, but that’s not God’s message to us!
The following statements show the power in humility.
- In marriage, you can defuse arguments when you are humble. You don’t need to stand up for yourself in an angry manner. And you don’t have to win every argument.
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)
So, let’s be real, your spouse can have bad days and so can you, but you can handle unfair treatment peacefully when you are humble.
- You can respond to unfair treatment without becoming bitter. Godly humility means you do not feel a need for vengeance or revenge.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)
When you understand God and humility, you don’t need to act like a big shot. The better you know God, the less you must prove.
Marriage at times requires you to eat “humble pie”. If you try to practice humility you can move forward without being crushed when you are humble.
- When you are humble, you can respond to and learn from criticism without becoming defensive—whether it is deserved or not. Likewise, you can be aware of your failures without being emotionally devastated.
- Finally, you can ask for forgiveness when you are humble.
Even if you think you are only one percent wrong, you can easily apologize for what you did wrong.
Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5:23-24)
Being humble does not mean being a wimp, and it does mean we should never speak. When God says to be humble, he lets us know we must examine our motives and attitudes.
There is power in humility, so I encourage you to remember that God resists the proud but shows favor to the humble.
Keep Fighting for your marriage! Humility Works!
The Newlywed Nook